Congratulations on finding your person AND (kinda even bigger congrats) for having the self awareness to think about this stuff before the ring is even on your finger.
Also, you sound like my people. Can we be friends?
Ok ok let's get into the fun stuff. You already know to talk about salary and debt so here's the full checklist:
Now the prenup.
You're right that prenups are for everyone - the fact that you already know this tells me you've been paying attention to these newsletters for awhile - really love that!
Second - here's the reframe that I think will make this feel less scary. A prenup is not a plan for divorce - it's just a plan for clarity. It's two people who genuinely love each other sitting down while they're happy and rational and deciding together what fair looks like - before $2k/hour lawyers and horrible emotions and a judge are involved. It is honestly one of the most loving and mature things you can do for each other. And for more context, please listen/watch my Belle Burden interview - she talks a lot about this.
For your specific situation - a prenup protects both of you. Your assets stay yours and his inheritance stays his. And you both have clarity on what happens if life takes an unexpected turn (which I hope it never does but which you deserve to be prepared for regardless).
If you're worried about how to bring it up just frame it as something you want to do together not something being DONE to one of you.
Something like…“I've been thinking about how we can set ourselves up responsibly and I'd love for us to look into a prenup together” is so much better than it coming out of nowhere over dinner - trust me on this one.
One practical thing to not forget tho - each of you needs your own independent attorney. It's not adversarial, it's just how it works and how it stays enforceable.
You are going into this next chapter in your life with your finances in order, your eyes open, and your heart full.
Honestly the dream. Congratulations!!!!
Congratulations on finding your person AND (kinda even bigger congrats) for having the self awareness to think about this stuff before the ring is even on your finger.
Also, you sound like my people. Can we be friends?
Ok ok let's get into the fun stuff. You already know to talk about salary and debt so here's the full checklist:
Now the prenup.
You're right that prenups are for everyone - the fact that you already know this tells me you've been paying attention to these newsletters for awhile - really love that!
Second - here's the reframe that I think will make this feel less scary. A prenup is not a plan for divorce - it's just a plan for clarity. It's two people who genuinely love each other sitting down while they're happy and rational and deciding together what fair looks like - before $2k/hour lawyers and horrible emotions and a judge are involved. It is honestly one of the most loving and mature things you can do for each other. And for more context, please listen/watch my Belle Burden interview - she talks a lot about this.
For your specific situation - a prenup protects both of you. Your assets stay yours and his inheritance stays his. And you both have clarity on what happens if life takes an unexpected turn (which I hope it never does but which you deserve to be prepared for regardless).
If you're worried about how to bring it up just frame it as something you want to do together not something being DONE to one of you.
Something like…“I've been thinking about how we can set ourselves up responsibly and I'd love for us to look into a prenup together” is so much better than it coming out of nowhere over dinner - trust me on this one.
One practical thing to not forget tho - each of you needs your own independent attorney. It's not adversarial, it's just how it works and how it stays enforceable.
You are going into this next chapter in your life with your finances in order, your eyes open, and your heart full.
Honestly the dream. Congratulations!!!!