First of all…ARE YOU ME?!!! Different chapter, SAME story. And I want you to know that what you're feeling - that weird limbo of being genuinely thriving and genuinely longing at the same time - is one of the most specific and least talked about experiences of being a woman in her thirties right now. You're not behind. You're not broken. You're just in the middle of a story that hasn't finished yet.
Ok now let's talk money.
First, the most important thing I want you to hear.
Your life has already started. I know it doesn't always feel that way. I know there are Sunday nights where the question mark feels louder than everything else. But your financial decisions right now are not placeholder decisions. They are real decisions for a real life that is actively happening. The sooner you build for the life you have, the better positioned you'll be for whatever comes next- with or without a partner.
On buying vs. renting.
This is the big one, and I hear it a lot. Here's my honest take: don't let a hypothetical partner make your real estate decisions. If buying makes financial sense in your market, for your income, on your timeline - buy. A partner is not a reason to stay financially frozen. And if you do meet someone down the road, two assets are not a problem. That's actually a really good problem to have.
If buying doesn't make sense right now (the math doesn't work, you genuinely might move, the price to rent ratio in your city is insane)… then rent. But make sure that decision is based on actual math, not on waiting for a life that may or may not look different in two years.
On retirement and investing.
Max it out. full stop. I know the fantasy of a dual income household is appealing and yes, two incomes changes the math. But you have one income right now and it's a good one. Invest like it. A partner is not a retirement plan and honestly the most attractive thing you can show up with into a relationship is a fully funded future. You are not holding back. You are building.
On planning for one vs. two.
Here's the reframe I want you to sit with: planning for yourself right now is not planning against a future partner. it's planning for a version of you that is financially strong, independent, and whole - which is exactly the person you want to be when you do meet him. A partner should add to your life, not complete it. And your finances should reflect that too.
Build the life for you. all the way. and leave the door open.
The part nobody says.
The women I see struggle the most financially in their forties are the ones who put everything on hold in their thirties waiting for life to officially begin. Don't be her. Your income is real. Your goals are real. Your future is real. Plan for it like it is.
You're not still waiting. You're just mid-chapter. & this chapter - the one where you build everything on your own terms - is one of the best ones.
I promise.
First of all…ARE YOU ME?!!! Different chapter, SAME story. And I want you to know that what you're feeling - that weird limbo of being genuinely thriving and genuinely longing at the same time - is one of the most specific and least talked about experiences of being a woman in her thirties right now. You're not behind. You're not broken. You're just in the middle of a story that hasn't finished yet.
Ok now let's talk money.
First, the most important thing I want you to hear.
Your life has already started. I know it doesn't always feel that way. I know there are Sunday nights where the question mark feels louder than everything else. But your financial decisions right now are not placeholder decisions. They are real decisions for a real life that is actively happening. The sooner you build for the life you have, the better positioned you'll be for whatever comes next- with or without a partner.
On buying vs. renting.
This is the big one, and I hear it a lot. Here's my honest take: don't let a hypothetical partner make your real estate decisions. If buying makes financial sense in your market, for your income, on your timeline - buy. A partner is not a reason to stay financially frozen. And if you do meet someone down the road, two assets are not a problem. That's actually a really good problem to have.
If buying doesn't make sense right now (the math doesn't work, you genuinely might move, the price to rent ratio in your city is insane)… then rent. But make sure that decision is based on actual math, not on waiting for a life that may or may not look different in two years.
On retirement and investing.
Max it out. full stop. I know the fantasy of a dual income household is appealing and yes, two incomes changes the math. But you have one income right now and it's a good one. Invest like it. A partner is not a retirement plan and honestly the most attractive thing you can show up with into a relationship is a fully funded future. You are not holding back. You are building.
On planning for one vs. two.
Here's the reframe I want you to sit with: planning for yourself right now is not planning against a future partner. it's planning for a version of you that is financially strong, independent, and whole - which is exactly the person you want to be when you do meet him. A partner should add to your life, not complete it. And your finances should reflect that too.
Build the life for you. all the way. and leave the door open.
The part nobody says.
The women I see struggle the most financially in their forties are the ones who put everything on hold in their thirties waiting for life to officially begin. Don't be her. Your income is real. Your goals are real. Your future is real. Plan for it like it is.
You're not still waiting. You're just mid-chapter. & this chapter - the one where you build everything on your own terms - is one of the best ones.
I promise.