First of all, NOT AN ALIMONY PONY might be the best sign-off this column has ever received. You are already my favorite person.
Second, five months pregnant when you found out? The audacity of that man. The strength of you. Truly. Let’s get you paid. And don't forget- if a man is going to waste your time, the least you can do is spend the rest of your life getting rich without him. Let's make that our mantra.
Here’s the thing: your financial situation is actually stronger than you think. You have $90K in savings, $30K in a rollover IRA, zero credit card debt, and a car that’s almost paid off. A lot of people going through what you went through come out with financial chaos. You didn’t. For someone who just survived a divorce with a newborn, this is not a financial disaster. This is a woman quietly building a balance sheet so GOOD ON YOU !!!
First move: get that $90K into a high-yield savings account. Regular savings accounts pay basically nothing right now. High-yield accounts are paying around 4–5%. On $90K that’s roughly $4,000–$4,500 a year in interest for doing absolutely nothing except moving the money. Same safety, same access, just more money. As a single mom, having a strong emergency fund matters. Ideally, you want about 6–9 months of living expenses sitting there so you always have a cushion.
Next: open a Roth IRA. Your employer not offering a 401K match doesn’t mean you skip retirement saving entirely. It just means a Roth IRA is the best place to start. You can contribute up to $7,500 a year, the money grows tax-free, and if you ever truly needed it you can withdraw your contributions (not the earnings) without penalties. That flexibility matters when you’re raising a kid. Even if you start with $100 or $200 a month, just start. And make sure you invest the money inside. Contributing doesn’t mean it’s invested!!
The car payment is almost gone. When that $400 a month disappears, I need you to promise me it won’t quietly get absorbed into life. Redirect it immediately: $200 toward your Roth IRA and $200 toward savings for your daughter.
Which brings us to the next move: open a 529 for her. A 529 is a tax-advantaged investment account for education expenses, and you don’t need a lot to get started. Even $50–$100 a month right now can compound into something meaningful by the time she’s 18. And under newer rules, unused 529 funds can even be rolled into a Roth IRA for the child later within certain limits. So that mans you’re not locking her into college, you’re just giving her options, and we love options.
About the ring. Lab diamonds, unfortunately, have terrible resale value, so I’d manage expectations on getting $15K back. You might get a few thousand if you’re lucky. My instinct would be to hold onto it for now, and when the time feels right, sell it and put every dollar into her 529. Nothing says closure quite like turning a cheating ex-husband into a college fund.
The big picture: you are not behind. You’re a single mom in your thirties with $90K saved, no consumer debt, and retirement already started. That is stronger than the majority of people your age. Move the savings to a high-yield account immediately. Start contributing to a Roth IRA this year. Open a 529 for your daughter. Redirect the car payment the second it’s gone.
You made one bad call on a partner. BUT, Your finances are making excellent decisions. And one day, your daughter will learn what happened. Instead of a cautionary tale about heartbreak, she’ll see something else entirely: a case study in financial independence.
You didn’t come this far to play small.
First of all, NOT AN ALIMONY PONY might be the best sign-off this column has ever received. You are already my favorite person.
Second, five months pregnant when you found out? The audacity of that man. The strength of you. Truly. Let’s get you paid. And don't forget- if a man is going to waste your time, the least you can do is spend the rest of your life getting rich without him. Let's make that our mantra.
Here’s the thing: your financial situation is actually stronger than you think. You have $90K in savings, $30K in a rollover IRA, zero credit card debt, and a car that’s almost paid off. A lot of people going through what you went through come out with financial chaos. You didn’t. For someone who just survived a divorce with a newborn, this is not a financial disaster. This is a woman quietly building a balance sheet so GOOD ON YOU !!!
First move: get that $90K into a high-yield savings account. Regular savings accounts pay basically nothing right now. High-yield accounts are paying around 4–5%. On $90K that’s roughly $4,000–$4,500 a year in interest for doing absolutely nothing except moving the money. Same safety, same access, just more money. As a single mom, having a strong emergency fund matters. Ideally, you want about 6–9 months of living expenses sitting there so you always have a cushion.
Next: open a Roth IRA. Your employer not offering a 401K match doesn’t mean you skip retirement saving entirely. It just means a Roth IRA is the best place to start. You can contribute up to $7,500 a year, the money grows tax-free, and if you ever truly needed it you can withdraw your contributions (not the earnings) without penalties. That flexibility matters when you’re raising a kid. Even if you start with $100 or $200 a month, just start. And make sure you invest the money inside. Contributing doesn’t mean it’s invested!!
The car payment is almost gone. When that $400 a month disappears, I need you to promise me it won’t quietly get absorbed into life. Redirect it immediately: $200 toward your Roth IRA and $200 toward savings for your daughter.
Which brings us to the next move: open a 529 for her. A 529 is a tax-advantaged investment account for education expenses, and you don’t need a lot to get started. Even $50–$100 a month right now can compound into something meaningful by the time she’s 18. And under newer rules, unused 529 funds can even be rolled into a Roth IRA for the child later within certain limits. So that mans you’re not locking her into college, you’re just giving her options, and we love options.
About the ring. Lab diamonds, unfortunately, have terrible resale value, so I’d manage expectations on getting $15K back. You might get a few thousand if you’re lucky. My instinct would be to hold onto it for now, and when the time feels right, sell it and put every dollar into her 529. Nothing says closure quite like turning a cheating ex-husband into a college fund.
The big picture: you are not behind. You’re a single mom in your thirties with $90K saved, no consumer debt, and retirement already started. That is stronger than the majority of people your age. Move the savings to a high-yield account immediately. Start contributing to a Roth IRA this year. Open a 529 for your daughter. Redirect the car payment the second it’s gone.
You made one bad call on a partner. BUT, Your finances are making excellent decisions. And one day, your daughter will learn what happened. Instead of a cautionary tale about heartbreak, she’ll see something else entirely: a case study in financial independence.
You didn’t come this far to play small.